Soaring into Bliss

God continued to speak to my soul. He continued to overwhelm me with His spirit. I do not know why. I was not, am not, worthy of it. I had fallen so many times, and worse, chosen the world and its temptations even after God had blessed me with outpourings of His love. It was so powerful and beautiful, yet at times I felt I should not seek it, even avoid it. Like chocolate, TV viewing, and alcohol, I felt experiencing God’s engulfing Love could be an addiction that I should avoid and definitely not pursue.

And yet, God kept overwhelming me. I felt like a lightning rod channeling his powerful Spirit. I could not help but bow in prayer and gratitude and beg God to guide me on the path towards Him. The episodes left me longing for more. When the Spirit left, all was stark and bleak. Eventually, casting aside doubt, I desired to live in such a way that if it be His Will, God would bless me continually with His Spirit. I hoped to live in this world at one with God.

Not wishing to appear “crazy”, I kept these episodes of Joy to myself, but in my forties, I had a conversation with Pastor Laura. For the first time, I related to her my personal periods of God’s overwhelming love that overflowed and brought me heightened joy. Pastor Laura told me what I had been experiencing was outpourings of God’s grace. I now had a word for it. I told her how I wished to live in this state always. She said that was impossible to do so in this world. Since I had been reading about and studying the lives of the saints, I still believed it was possible and determined to use them as my teachers and guides.

Photo by Davide Cantelli on Unsplash

Our soul encompasses the body, mind, and heart and soars to the Eternal with outstretched arms, desiring the hug of the Divine. As a baby completely depends on its mother for love and care, so does the soul depend on God. As a mother does all she can for her baby, so God does all for us. We need only to believe this, in order to open and know this truth.

We are God’s children. There is nothing that happens to us that is not for our good. We may not experience it as for our good, just as a child does not experience being made to stand in a corner as good; but in the eternal perspective that is God, it is so. Life is easier for us if we trust this and let go with delight and expectation. There will be tears. There will be heartbreak so strong that we would rather die than experience another moment. Temptations arise. It is if we choose to act upon them that determines the state of our soul. At times, all seems black and the darkness has no end. In such moments know that God is with you in the darkness, even when you feel nothing. Trust that you will be lifted up and bathed in light.

There are no degrees in perfection. There is only what is. Degrees are a human invention as our mind cannot comprehend the eternal oneness that is now. Eternal bliss – I could wallow in it for hours, hopefully for the rest of my life. All is of God, the light and the dark.